It was a Sunday morning.
A snowy one.
One where my husband had to go to work.
I was 4 months postpartum and at the height of postpartum depression… But I didn’t know that.
I hated myself.
I hated living.
I hated sleeping.
I hated waking up.
I hated going to work.
I hated everything…
… More Postpartum Depression: Part 1 Of My Story
I’ve had two 4th trimesters that went into the hustle and bustle of the holiday season.
But what they didn’t know was that being close to him, holding him, was the only way I felt safe.
All of this ‘abuse by obligation’ during the holidays would manifest in extreme postpartum depression by 4 months postpartum. … More A Letter To The 4th Trimester Mom In December
Do you know a pregnant woman? Chances are you do. And, chances are that that woman will be left alone and forgotten in her postpartum period. Western culture is sorely lacking in the skill of mothering a mother. I hope that, with the help of thousands of you, we can begin to change that! … More After Birth Recovery Soup
There was a day that I was angry. I used a pair of jeans to pull across my shoulders as an outlet for the anger and frustration. After I’d fatigued my muscles doing that, the legs of those jeans found their way around my neck…
I was choking myself.
And the voice in my head said it was ok. Everyone would be relieved if I were gone. I wouldn’t be a burden anymore. My children’s emotional health would be better because they wouldn’t have a sick Mommy anymore… … More How I Avoided Postpartum Depression A 5th Time
When we were expecting our first, I had these perfect images of how things would go. Home birth… water birth… quick labor and birth because “I was in shape”… breastfeeding, obviously… a child that grew as he or she should… milestones met early… back to normal ‘down under’ quickly… baby weight melted off, because I … More Elephant In The Room Of Motherhood